The bloody details of a horror writer, director & actor.

March 4, 2014

I Make This Shit Up





Sunday. Football is on.

Step Dad: You know any of these teams?
Me: I probably know more about quantum mechanics, but shoot.
Step Dad: Baltimore.
Me: Baltimore? They have a team? Where the hell is Baltimore?
Step Dad: In Maryland.
Me: Never heard of it.

Step Dad: Minnesota...
Me: Miners?
Step Dad: No.Tennessee...
Me: Mountain Lions.
Step Dad: You think there are mountain lions in Tennessee?
Me: Oh... Tennessee Alligators?
Step Dad: Oh man... Dallas.
Me: Cowboys.
Step Dad: You got one!
Me: Yeah, everyone knows the Dallas Cheerleaders.

Step Dad: Washington...
Me: Swashbucklers!
Step Dad: No. Cincinnati.
Me: Chimichungas!
Step Dad: Now you're just being an asshole.
Me: No serious. Give me another one.
Step Dad: Huston.
Me: Chainsaw Hussies!
Step Dad: Stop it.
Me: San Diego Salt Lickers!

Step Dad: Forget it.
Me: I think my names are better.
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