September 10, 2014

Hurlfest, the Bastard of Norwalk

So I've been quarantined in my house with the Norwalk Virus. I'll spare you the horrific details, but let's just say there were moments in the 8 hour hurlfest where I wished I was a spy with a suicide pill tucked under my tongue. I gave Linda Blair a run for her money, that's for sure.
Now that I'm sipping on liquids and tentatively trying to chew again, I've returned to the Internet to keep the squirrels in my mind at bay. For those naysayers of social media, claiming it's all a narcissistic wasteland, I say nay to you.  I am so grateful that you share your life with me. Even if it's the curated, "best of" version. Some things need to be censored. I put instagram down - as one should-  when I started puking up my peanut butter toast, which by the way - has taken the top place of the most terrible foods to revisit after chewing. TMI?

Which brings me to the reason of this post. A Top 10 list of my favorite go-to movies when I feel like a bag of shit. Thanks to Tony Bao for giving me something to do!

1. The Lost Boys

I actually watch this movie at least twice per year. It's still the best vampire movie ever made and nothing beats oiled saxophone man. Nothing.

2. Back to the Future

Any film by Michael J. Fox boosts the immune system. It's science.

3. Hear No Evil, See No Evil

This scene is the best depiction of comedic situation, what happens when one character is deaf, the other is blind? Hilarity Ensues.

4. The 'Burbs

Tom Hanks is right up there with M.J. Fox as chicken soup for the soul.

5. Indiana Jones (and the whatever, except that last piece of shit with Shia LeDouche).

Oh Indy! If you weren't in love with Harrison Ford, you weren't cool enough to be born in the 80's.

6. What About Bob?

Bill Fucking Murray. Enough said.

7. The Dream Team

Michael Keaton, Christopher Lloyd... this classic clip even includes the VHS splices.

8. The Secret of Nimh

I had a crush on the animated rat Justin. I'm not the only one - the Internet has brought us crazy girls together. Say it with me now, "MRS. JOHNATHAN BRISBEEEEE

9. Throw Momma from The Train

In a three year period, I had several dreams of celebrities trying to kill me. Danny Devito chased me throughout my house with a shotgun. Weird.

10. Uncle Buck

Long Live John Candy and John Hughes. And does anyone else wanna smack her? GAWD.


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