July 13, 2015

I Am Jack's Desperate Plea to Stop

Raw... so fucking raw. That's when you know you're getting to the heart of the story, but Jesus F does it have to hurt so much? Yeah. It does.

I'm going to file this post under the hashtag #HighQualityProblems, because I've got a privileged predicament. I am delving into my mentorship experience after winning the From Our Dark Side contest from WIFTV and so blessed to be working with Carrie Gadsby and Rupert Harvey on the development of my feature. Now is the time to manifest and I find myself at a complete loss of what my project is really about and what I'm trying to say.  This is when Jimmy Dean becomes the voice inside my head, the voice calling out to itself, "It's our goddamn project, how do we not know what the hell it's about?!?"

At times like this, I go to a professional... at the Russian Tea Room. See I want a glimpse of the future before a step into it. I want a mystic to light the path for a moment, to tell me the truth through cigarettes and coffee breath. Sadly, my favourite psychic has crossed over. We shared time together in early 2015, where he named some of my distractions and detours (by their first name...yikes) and called my attention to once again, in his straight-shooter fashion, "get fucking serious." What a gem.

When a little lost, I tend to go outside of myself for the answers when I need to sit still and be reminded that I am connected to the source. So, I've spent the past week doing a major inventory, a sober look at my wasted time and energy and a re-evaluation of my priorities. I've been rolling in bed with crystals under my pillows, had some Momma Jane life-coaching, meditations, visitations and desperate pleas to the Universe. And then... I had a flying dream. For those who have not had a lucid dream (yet) it's the most delicious experience. I was reminded, oh right... I can fly! I'm powerful, I'm in control and I awoke with the same sense of pulling this fact into my waking life as I do when I've had a stress dream and I check my teeth to make sure they haven't fallen out. At that moment, I didn't have all the pieces put together, but I knew it was going to be OK. Brilliant actually. And I'm back on track.

But this work ain't easy. So a shout out to my fellow creatives wrestling in the dark. Let's remember that we are powerful beings and work our magic. 

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