Interview with Momma Jane

Momma Jane is a larger than life character who is often mentioned in this blog and thus deserves to have her own page. She's danced on table tops in Cuba, pretended she was a rich heiress in Monaco in the 80's and charged her friends for pool access in her own backyard. We call each other Kooky C*** (she will adamantly deny this) and there are no "unopened packages" between us, as we like to say. She has lived an unconventional life. Never settling for mediocre, she's taken the hard road of self discovery and lives out loud. Here she is in her own words:  

I came into your life as a full grown teenager. What would you have named me if I came out of your snatch?

Something that ended with an "i."

Candi? Bambi?

No. Sarah. Isabella. Christine. (Notice how none of those names end in an "i").

You have been known to say that there are two kinds of children in the world: screamers and liars.  Which one was I?

Screamer, unfortunately.

I have been known to say The Blindside was like our story, if I was a big black dude and you were an over-tanned southern blonde. What did you think of that movie?

It was our story. It made me cry. She saw beyond his circumstances. Once she was in, she was all in. And she was fierce.

You have a very short attention span and often won't give the film a chance unless Sandra Bullock is in it. Why do you love and respect her so much as an actress?

Call it an affinity for a smart brunette. She has dignity. She's funny and unpretentious. She's let her heart take her to a few places she shall not return. She focused on love - became an adopted mom - and that seems to be her immunity to the sleaze that has tried to pull her down. (Notice that she's actually describing herself).

Do you think I should show my boobs in a film?


Care to elaborate?

Why give it away for free? You don't want some knuckle-head who you wouldn't even sit next to on the bus seeing your goodies.

If I get nominated for an award and get to take you to the Oscars, who do you want to meet and why?

I want to look, but I don't want to interact. I want to gawk like the geeky chubby girl at prom. You want to be there, but not be there.

Will you be happy if your grandchildren have tails?

Of course.

You hate scary movies, but are so proud of what I do. How will you get through watching me die on screen?

By looking on the bright side. At least you're not naked.

What are the most important things in life?

Not giving up. Finding a way to live from the inside out, so you can hold a vision for yourself despite the discomfort, for the treasures that have yet to manifest.

What do you want me to buy you when I make my first million?

A brow lift.
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